First off I want to say that even though Ginger and Trixie just sold, Cookie is available for sale as on PFATT Marketplace! The new artist ads come out on the 10th of each month.
Life sometimes seems like an endless roller coaster ride, some ups and some downs, other times it feels like you are forever waiting for the ups to come! Never take for granted that your day will turn out exactly like you have planned, it may have other things in mind.
Easter started out nicely, the weather was mild, my son was visiting for the weekend and all "seemed" well. I will back up and say that the previous day my hubby and son built a bike jump with the tractor, this is nothing new at my house. Both my boys are experienced bmx bike racers and love to ride the jumps and have for years. As a Mom I always have the worry of what if.... this particular jump is a double, and HUGE, nothing to sneeze at and only for the experienced rider. I was concerned anyway.
My son Tyler was going to take this jump for the first time and asked if I would come out and watch. I of course did but I am always nervous watching my kids do this stuff even though I know they are capable. I did however have a sick feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. As I watched Tyler come off the hill toward the jump panic started to engulf me, as he launched I instantly knew all would go terribly wrong even before he touched the ground.
I witnessed my son's body being thrown like a rag doll and slam into the hard ground. The horror and shock of what my eyes were seeing will haunt me for a long time. The scream that involuntarily came out of me felt like it was coming from someone else. I was rendered useless as my husband told me to call 911. We were in the woods and I needed to ride the 4 wheeler up to the house, but in my shock I could not figure out how to even turn it on! Dan turned Tyler over to see he had lost conciousness and his eyes were rolling and his body twitching. He shoved me aside and went to make the call. I then had to sit alone in the woods with my baby like this, not knowing just how badly he was broken.
I don't do things like this well, but had to somehow. I quickly remembered God's promise to us that he is an ever present help in times of trouble, I did all I knew to do and that was to call out to God for help! A groan I will never forget left his body and he was coming around after what seemed like an eternity. He was so very confused and asked me over and over what happened? not 2 seconds passed and he asked this same question again and again and again, I knew then he was in a bit of trouble.
We spent the good part of the day in the emergency room as they determined his injuries. He sustained a concussion, broken collar bone, small hole in his lung, scrapes, bruises and a lot of pain. He will heal, and he will be okay, for this I am grateful beyond what I can say. I am grateful that he had a full face helmet on, this is a priceless piece of equipment and not to be taken lightly. He is in a lot of pain, but we are doing all we can to help him through this healing process. We all feel a bit traumatized this week, it has thrown everything off in a way I cannot explain.
It occurs to me that if we wait for life to be peaceful, up and happy all the time, we will never be happy, life is just not that way. If we wait for our circumstances to be wonderful to determine if we smile, we will always be frowning. I am still learning how to find peace and joy in spite of what the circumstances may be. This is one of my weaknesses, I like to feel secure and in control, but we don't live in that world so I need to adjust my thinking on this somehow. I remember a time long ago when this was the case for me, the season in my life where all WAS well... I want it to be that way again, but maybe it won't, then what? I will just need to trust that God will take care of the what ifs in life! I am not there, but I am really working on it. I am so grateful to have my son with me, that right there is a reason to smile!